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1A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:04 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
I wrote this in school for someone i love. leave below any feed back. please keep the negativity to a minimum/none. if you don't understand something just ask. if you see a grammar mistake please tell me.



A Thousand Miles

I would walk a thousand miles for you, my love. I wouldn't eat or drink or sleep. I wouldn't eat as it would weigh me down and prolong my journey. Therefore it is not necessary. I wouldn't drink as the water would extinguish the fire in my heart that burns for you ever so bright. Therefore it is not necessary. I wouldn't sleep as it could be my last. Therefore it is not necessary. I would only Take the clothes on my back and the love and dreams I have for you. Dreams of seeing you and dreams of hearing you and dreams of touching you and finally dreams of loving you. My heart beats ever so fiercely for you as I begin my journey of a thousand miles. I journey over far and wide wastelands. not stopping to observe nature to hear the birds chirp a beautiful song or to rest by the gentle flowing river. The dawn and dusk past ever so quickly. The sun greets me in the morning while the endless amount of stars guide me through the night. But with good there always must be an evil. Beasts sent from mixed emotions cloud my mind with negativity. Their tongues, so sneaky and tempting like that of a snake's tongue. Their words are like needles jabbing with every word they say, "Fool you can never make such a journey, turn back now". But I have you on my side. The one who has my love. The one who fuels my determination. The one who fuels my heart with hope so powerful it shines with a light so bright it sends the beast back from where they came. I continued journeying over long and hard wastelands. Still not stopping to hear the birds chirp their beautiful song or to rest by the gentle flowing river. I press on to complete my journey for you. My determination fueled by your love, so powerful it can never be broken. Through fire and flames, and the seasons pasting I still press on. As I get to the end of my journey I walk into a landscape like none other. Endless fire, no day but only a dark night and evil everywhere, like Hell itself. I still press on remembering why I went on this journey. I remember it is for you. Then, happening so fast, a pure evil presence surrounds me, Grasping me with a pure force of strength like none other. This one wasn't like the beasts earlier. It didn't have the tongue of a snake but of a serpent. Its words are like unholy water, extinguishing the Fires of hope that fueled my determination for you. It is to powerful, I cannot continue. I walked back in the direction I came. All beaten, weak and defeated. Tears drip from my face like those of a warrior returning alive to find he has nothing left. No more hope in my heart to power the determination I have for you. I drop to my knees, to weak to stand. I raise my hand to the dark night sky and let out a scream "JUST GIVE ME A SIGN TO CONTINUE". And then I lay my head back down just staring at the ground like it was nothing. Then a miracle, a shimmering light appears in front of me. Its shine is very bright for something so small. It speaks in such a soothing tone. "Do not give up, you will never be able to complete your dreams". As I pick up my head, the light changed into the reason I did the journey. It's you, my love. You stare with such heavenly eyes. Your voice is so angelic. Your hair, so smooth and perfect. And your heart beats for me as mine does for you. The evil presence speaks again, "Fool, you are to weak, turn back now". The light then enters my heart and in an instant shines a light so bright, like a star exploding of old age. Its power is tremendous, completely destroying the evil and darkness from the land. Day finally can shine on the landscape. I press on through the newly made land created from heaven itself. This time I do stop to hear the birds chirp. Their song is so beautiful, how could I of not heard? This time I do stop to rest by the gentle flowing river. It brings peace and harmony to my mind and soul. The sun rises and I greet it and I no longer need the stars as the newly found light of hope in my heart guides me to you. At last, my journey for you is complete. You stand there so gracefully. I can finally see you. Your so angelic as the dawns lights shine on you. I can finally hear you. Your voice so soothing like the songs the birds make. I can finally touch you. Your skin, so perfect like the gentle flowing river I rested by. And I can finally love you. The thought of my true love being in front of me was to good to be true. I would do anything for you, my love. I would feed you as food is the basic for new life. Therefore it is necessary. I would quench your thirst as water is the liquid of hope and love. I would rock you to sleep as sleep brings the new dawn everyday. Therefore it is necessary. I would walk a thousand miles for you, my love. Because love starts with a single step.

Written by ~Michael Stewart.


I love writing poetry because you can make anything you want into something entirely different. If anyone is an expert in poetry see if you can spot out some morals of this poem. Also I know the title is a little cliche so if you have a better title post it.





Last edited by Fluffytots on Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:14 pm; edited 1 time in total

2A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:23 pm

Scarlett

Scarlett
Houseless
Houseless
Emotional , nice poem.

3A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:24 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
Thank you. Sorry for it being a pretty long poem. It just came from my heart.

4A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:25 pm

Syrufit

Syrufit
Hell's Emissary
Hell's Emissary
You have feelings?!

YOU ARE NOT A FEMALE ROBOT?!
Oh wait that was Cheren...

5A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:27 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
._. Sy, when it comes to poetry, I'm a BAWSS

6A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:35 pm

MemorySP

MemorySP
Hell's Emissary
Hell's Emissary
Nice poem ya got there ;D

7A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:38 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
fluffytots: did you read the entire thing?
~MemorySP~: Nope cuz im lazyy


._. thanks. Very Happy

8A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:27 pm

Rebecca Hawkins

Rebecca Hawkins
Houseless
Houseless
cool i like it

9A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:27 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
._. lol you didnt read it but thank you Very Happy

10A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:29 pm

Rebecca Hawkins

Rebecca Hawkins
Houseless
Houseless
i did read it i just diddnt want to post

11A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:30 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
oh. well in that case. Thank you ^.^. does anyone understand what it is truly about?

12A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:37 pm

Crystal God

Crystal God
Houseless
Houseless
srry tots im not reading that its to long

13A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:40 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
._. then you'll never understand true love my boy.

14A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:44 pm

Crystal God

Crystal God
Houseless
Houseless
well i guess i wount

15A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:07 pm

Fallen Hope

Fallen Hope
Houseless
Houseless
I've told you this before but that last line had me going. D'x

16A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:09 pm

MemorySP

MemorySP
Hell's Emissary
Hell's Emissary
I like the last line too (:

17A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:14 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
lol thank you. i thought of that last minute.

18A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Its really nice Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:45 pm

Alchemistyazan

Alchemistyazan
Teacher
Teacher
Its really nice and emotional. I really liked it Smile. I never knew you write poetry well anways your really good in love poems. Like evryone said I loved the last line. Oh and theres one mistake on verse 13.

19A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:49 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
Lol thank you, but the verses aren't numbered. Can you tell me which line?

20A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Line 13 Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:54 pm

Alchemistyazan

Alchemistyazan
Teacher
Teacher
Line 13 where the snakes kick in Very Happy.

21A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:04 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
._. can you post the sentence lol. The poem is long and there are a couple of times I mention snakes.

22A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:08 pm

Maximillion Pegasus

Maximillion Pegasus
Moderator
Moderator
Yeah, I agree with Alchemist. You did a good job writing it, and you should be proud; not many people can write poetry. My kind of poetry doesn't involve dialogue, but I think you pulled it off just fine.

23A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty This is it. Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:11 pm

Alchemistyazan

Alchemistyazan
Teacher
Teacher
This is it.mind with negativity. Their Tongue, so Sneaky and tempting like a snakes. You should say tempting like snakes not like a snakes Razz.

24A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Re: A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:13 pm

Fluffytots

Fluffytots
Galactic Chaos
Galactic Chaos
Why thank you Cyrus. Poetry can be easy and hard. If something is bothering you, write it down in poetry. I was in love so I wrote it. Emotions can help you write/do a lot of things. Also I see where I made the mistake Yazan. But still did anyone figure out what the meaning is?

25A Thousand Miles/A poem I wrote Empty Well ill give it a shot. Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:17 pm

Alchemistyazan

Alchemistyazan
Teacher
Teacher
Well ill give it a shot.[i]Your trying to tell a girl you love her but a part of you says no turn back your a fool shell never fall for you and the other says no you can do this. You try doing mad things for her just to reach her love but still scared if she will love you or not Smile.

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